


people we've lost (people we've loved)

by 3rdgymbros



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, Toph joins the gaang early and sees shit in the swamp, also I have no regrets, i meshed together some aus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 20:13:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19448722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3rdgymbros/pseuds/3rdgymbros
Summary: She remembers the awkward earnestness of the Fire Nation prince she was betrothed to – how clumsy his fingers had been when they’d clasped the bracelet around her wrist, all the uncertainty he’d felt laid bare for her to hear, even as he’d shyly told her that he would try to make her happy.





	people we've lost (people we've loved)

> _“In the swamp, we see visions of people we've lost, people we've loved, folks we think are gone. But the swamp tells us they're not. We're still connected to them. Time is an illusion and so is death.”_

She’s lived in darkness for all her life. The dark shouldn’t scare her, but it _does_. The feeling of being blind – _well and truly, blind_ – is still jarring, leaving her floundering about like a freshly-hatched chick, and so, she grits her teeth and bends her pride just a little, clinging on tightly to Aang’s arm as they navigate over gnarled, tangled tree roots and bits of debris. The smell of the sea and the thick odor of mud enclose them as they head deeper into the swamp. Parts of the wood are sticky with lichen and water, and Toph steps carefully, digging her toes in to find some purchase before her next step.

It’s only when a scream splits the air – Toph thinks that she might have joined in the cacophony of screaming, à la Aang, Sokka and Katara – that Sokka suggests they build a fire.

It’s the best idea Toph’s heard from him yet.

“Just a screaming bird,” Aang, too brightly, tries to reassures her. “Nothing to worry about, Toph!”

Her heart leaps beneath her ribs; Toph swallows and nods, her fingers digging into Aang’s arm so tightly that she feels his muscles spasm beneath her grip. “ _Sure,_ Twinkle Toes. Nothing to worry about.”

It’s only as the four of them are huddled around the tiny fire that Toph feels her pulse slow, the tenseness to her slight frame leeching out of her. She slumps bonelessly against Aang with a huff, her fingers idly finding and tracing the delicate links of her bracelet. After her rough tumble into the swamp and a patch of mud, she’d felt only pure, unadulterated relief that it was still on her person.

The one concession to her former life that Toph had made was a bracelet made of gold and rubies. An accessory seemingly out of place with her loose, green tunic and dirtied, bare feet. She can’t see its vivid colours, or the simple elegance of its design, but runs her fingers over the tiny pecks and delicate ridges, as she often does when she’s stressed or afraid.

She remembers the awkward earnestness of the Fire Nation prince she was betrothed to – how clumsy his fingers had been when they’d clasped the bracelet around her wrist, all the uncertainty he’d felt laid bare for her to hear, even as he’d shyly told her that he would try to make her happy.

Toph doesn’t think that she’ll ever fall asleep, but using Aang’s arm as a makeshift pillow, sleep sweeps her up like a wave, holds her in its buoyancy, and carries her.

* * *

Toph wakes up to the sensation of something wet and slimy slithering a trail up her leg, and she _screams_.

She can hear her companions shouting, and she guesses that she’s not the only one in trouble. The darkness is thick and cloying, pressing down unrelentingly on her from all sides. Her fingers scramble blindly for _Aang, Katara, Sokka, anything,_ but all they find is empty air, and she’s yanked away.

Someone grabs her roughly by the arm. She hears the hiss of metal, and the grip on her leg loosens. Sokka’s voice. A rough shove in an indiscriminate direction. _“Toph, go! I’m right behind you!”_

She goes.

Stumbling away blindly, uncaring of where she’s going, Toph keeps a hand out for balance, cold terror constricting her lungs as she tries to escape. Colliding with trees, breaking free of wet leaves as she scrambles onto higher ground, desperate to get away. Her foot slips off a particularly mossy root and falls for what seems an eternity until her body thuds against a wet cage of roots and she lies still, dazed and very much pained.

Toph can already feel the purpling of bruises beginning to bloom beneath her skin, but she sucks it up and pushes to her feet with a groan. She’s had worse.

She can’t hear anyone, just the rustle of crabs making their way through the wet debris around her feet. Reaching behind her, groping blindly for _something,_ proves to be a futile effort. The others aren’t anywhere nearby; no other sound breaks the silence, and there’s _nothing,_ _no one_ around.

“Sokka?” Still, she calls out his name tentatively, her voice sounding small and uncertain in the vastness of the swamp.

But it’s not Sokka who answers.

_“You left me.”_

It’s a voice from the past, from the life that she’s left behind.

Toph feels the little courage she has left shrivel away into panic. The thin length of metal encircling her wrist suddenly feels heavy.

She feels the sky whirl, the earth give way. “What **\---**?”

 _You shouldn’t be here. Why are you here? How did you find me?_ Her thoughts explode all at once, paralyzing her. In her hesitation, the voice fills in the gap of silence.

 _“You left me,”_ It repeats.

“I **\---** I **\---** ” Toph hears how she sounds, to her own ears. Like a _little girl, helpless, alone, covering her face, waiting for someone else to appear to make everything better._ “I didn’t **\---** We never **\---** ”

_“Why did you leave me?”_

_I had to,_ she wants to reply. _It’s not my life. Not the life that I want._

She thinks of the cushy life her parents had envisioned for her, of endless parties and being paraded around like arm candy. And she thinks again of her life now, of running free, of a life unfettered. To be able to do whatever she wanted, unburdened by place or status, freed from living the life of an insect, shuttling back and forth within the same miniscule radius.

Toph feels her breath rush back into her body, mixing with her heartbeat hammering in her chest. She isn’t sure if this is an illusion conjured up by her tired mind, or if the swamp really is filled with magic mojo as Aang had claimed. But the words of that damned Fire Nation prince have landed in a place deeper than hearing.

She doesn’t want to hear anymore.

So she slaps her hands over her ears and screams, the sounds of anguish following right on the heels of one, and then another.

She must scream herself hoarse, until something slams into her from behind and sends her falling, face flat, into a puddle of cold water.

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of had several AU ideas and twisted them together! Basically in this one, Toph joins the Gang early, and Zuko's the one she sees in the swamp ( they were engaged as kids before Shit Happened ). Please review if you liked it!


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